Saturday, 27 February 2010

The Romans had the last laugh

The minions of Britain have recently been informed by the BBC that spring has come early this year, which given that only last month we were under at least a foot in snow, is understandably causing somewhat of a slight confusion.

But that is certainly not what has been the object of my confusion recently. Every year it has become, to some extent, a tradition for us to go out across the commons and examine the yearly frog spawn situation, (I say it like that not to sound like a curious child but more like an aspirant herpetologist...but I suspect it’s not working) and every single year I get way ahead of myself. I assume that after Christmas, the new year and January will follow, trailed not too distantly by spring and therefore frog spawning.

(So in my head it works like this: January = frogspawn)

Even though I’m well aware that spring begins in late march and subsequently so does the mating of creatures, when January lurks just round the corner I still direct my attention to the coming of tadpoles, and then get a shock when I have to wait over two months for them to appear.

Spring is taught as the first season of the four. It’s spring, summer, autumn, winter and if you type seasons into Google images you will be plagued with images featuring spring as the first season of the year. But it’s not. Not really. Winter frequently continues to brutally freeze our most private of bodily areas from the first day of the year long into the month of March...

So who invented this ridiculous illogical calendar? The Romans apparently. It seems that giving us many of the tools to construct the underrated incredibly complex and advanced civilized world which we live in today wasn’t enough for them, they decided it would be best to gift us with their calendar designs, which was clearly, created with the intent to cause maximum frustration, confusion and upset. (Of which I’m now certain was all directed at me and my love of amphibian related stuffs.) Bastards. Complete and utter bastards. Romani ite domum.

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